I'm seven or eight years older than I was when I began this journal. You'd think I'd be more mature and well rounded by now, that is, unforunately, not the case at all. I'm in the same position. Doesn't seem to matter how much I want anything, or how much I work. I always end up back at rock bottom. A while ago I said something along the lines of not bothering getting back up when I hit the bottom because you can't fall when you're already on your back. I should have listened to my own advice.